Change is good, if it happens

First came the employee satisfaction survey. Then came the committee that interpreted the survey and selected the areas that needed to be worked on as top priority. Then came the focus group, the meetings and the quick wins. Then came the announcement that management was going to focus on the area selected as the least critical to employee satisfaction: communication. Then they arranged some employee appreciation days, and called it a resounding success.

As I returned to my desk in a daze, I wondered how much time and money had been wasted on this smokescreen, and how much the input of the committee REALLY mattered to management. Not much, I concluded. Then I started wondering if I should start putting up posters of the director in my cube and carrying around a printout of the company dress code in a red duo-tang.

Two years later, another survey was conducted. I predicted the results and my colleagues at work were astounded by how accurate I was. (Really, you're surprised?) I also predicted that management would continue to ignore all of the new results and continue to focus on the area that they had selected after the original survey. And lo! A TV spouting inspirational quotes and What's Happening schedules appeared in a high traffic walkthrough areas on every floor as well as the lunchroom. The walkthrough area is an inconvenient place to stop to watch the TV, and one must wait for the inspirational quotes to stop running before any pertinent information is presented. But so what? It's communication!! There was also a contest to 'name' the new information source. There was a winner and the TVs were appropriately christened with much fanfare. There was general disgust amongst the staff and more employee appreciation days were scheduled. Why didn't this work? Why wasn't the staff estatic? Communication is great, but if you don't have a good relationship with your people and they don't trust you, well, then you're screwed, period.

The Chinese Cultural Revolution under Chairman Mao followed much the same formula. In a nutshell, an initiative was concieved, trumpeted loudly by the government, and initiated with much hullabaloo. It would, many times, fail miserably, and some national holiday or celebration day would be created to distract from the fact that the initiative was a total bust. I mean, a celebration day totally makes up for failed improvements to social welfare, doesn't it?

Since then, I have come to the conclusion that my workplace is run much like what the Chinese call a hegemony. The World English Dictionary defines it thus:

Ascendancy or domination of one power or state within a league, confederation, etc, or of one social class over others.

I recall a question posed to me during my interview for my current post, for example. The interviewer asked me: "Can you do what you're told without questioning?" I immediately answered that yes, I can. And I can, most certainly, do what I'm told without question. As long as I trust the one giving the orders and that the orders are within reason. If she had asked "Will you do what you're told without questioning?", well then, that would have been a totally different story! And I'd probably be working in a different department today.

At lunch with a dear friend earlier this week, I learned that they are planning to send out another employee satisfaction survey at work. I jokingly commented later to another friend that management had obviously never heard Albert Einstein's famous quote:

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Now I hear that there's a giant "re-org" in the works as well. They will be appointing new leaders from the existing leadership pool. They will be providing 'training' on the new initiatives to these new old leaders. There will be a new reporting structure. There will be new and unfamiliar processes presented to the staff with no additional training or opportunity for input. And my prediction? I expect that nothing will change. Staff will be treated as they always have been. Management will have the same, do as I say, no questions, mentality. There will be employee appreciation days. There will be another survey.

When changes are concieved, one of the most important things to keep in mind is that at some level, they will involve people. If the people aren't engaged and if the people don't trust you, the initiative will fail. It may be implemented through to completion, to be sure, but people won't really be behind it, regardless of how many employee appreciation days there are.

The Meaning of Happiness

Or, if you're Hollywood, the meaning of Happyness. However you spell it (or misspell it) it remains an elusive beast for some, much like wealth, true love and the Loch Ness Monster.

But truly, what does it mean? Does it only mean that you're just not desperately sad? Or is it something more? And who is responsible for YOUR happiness?

All burning questions to ponder as my laptop is hung up on a recompress.....

So then, gentle reader, who's to blame when you're not happy? Well, other than faulty internal chemistry, I belive that it's ultimately your own personal responsibility to yourself. You should not rely on others to make you happy, just as you should not place that burden on others. When someone says to me: "I don't know what makes me happy. You've known me a long time, don't YOU know what makes me happy?", my blood pressure goes up. So, after many years, much hard work and sacrifice on my part to help you be happy, you can still ask me this? Maybe it's time you figured it out for yourself and stop expecting it to be my only goal in life to drop the ultimate happiness bomb on you. We strive to please so many people: our bosses, our clients, our colleagues, our families. When you spend all your energy trying to making sure everyone else is happy, what's left for you? Especially when some of these people are just never satisfied? How much do you take before you blow a major gasket or simply give up entirely?

Oddly, as I realized this morning on the way to work, not much is left. It suddenly occured to me that I'm not happy. The irony was not lost on me. Normally, I love irony, but mostly if I'm not directly involved in the ironic event.

And so, reader, when we take all this into account, what are the next steps? A great big FU to the succubi that surround us sounds good. Let's try that, one person at a time and see how it goes. One small change can make a big difference. Let's hope.

Georgia on my mind

The recent troubles in Georgia put me in mind of other historical shenanigans that Russia has pulled when it's Expansionist schemes have been foiled. Putin is still very much the influential policy-pusher and could very well be called the new Czar, as it's clear that Medvedev certainly isn't running the show. The fact that Russia is currently using the excuse that it has legal obligations to protect Russian citizens in Georgia is laughable. It's the oldest scheme in the book to hand out passports to citizens of another country and then claim that they are oppressed citizens that need your help. What utter nonsense. I sincerely hope that the European Union and NATO can work up the courage to tell the Great Bear to knock it off and for Georgia to give it up. Ossetia just wants to be independent and nobody seems to be able to handle it. It's like your girlfriend broke it off and wants to date someone else/not date anybody and if you can't have her then nobody can. Next thing you know, they'll be cutting off the gas lines again. Time to nip this naughty neighbour in the bud.

Port-a-potties for our Vets

I haven't thought about writing anything in a really long time. In honour of the remaining Veterans who fought for our freedom overseas, I thought that I would address this to our illustrious government.

Shame on you, you cheap bastards!

If you saw the news about the Remembrance Day celebrations in Ottawa on the news last week, you'll know what I'm on about. If not, here's the scoop on how my taxpayers dollars were not spent.

Ottawa generously paid for vets to take ViaRail to Ottawa to attend the Remembrance Day Celebrations. After the celebration, they were pretty much abandoned and told that their accommodations would be a currently unused military barracks with cots, no heat and port-a-potties. Apparently Ottawa thought it would be tres chic to go retro.

The Vets, who are all over 70, declined Ottawa's offer of the barracks, so were told that they could stay where they liked on their own dime. I can't think of anything more insulting and ungrateful. I'm sure that they could have borrowed from the Governor General's generous budget to at least cover hotel expenses for the Vets.

Despicable!

My Buddha’s back…and you’re gonna be in trouble

I was perusing one of my favourite magazines last night. Normally, I scan most of the articles and then decide what to spend a lot of time reading and what to just skip. I’ll admit, most days I’m indignant about something; be it the drivers in London, the weather or the juvenile minds I work with at Mother Corp. (as Carmi so aptly calls it). It doesn’t have to be anything big and I usually get over it within a few minutes. The feature article I read last night was terribly upsetting, and I’m still upset today. I don't believe that blowing up the Great Buddha of Bamiyan was anything but a political power trip for the Taliban. Any other excuse is just that, an excuse. In addition, ANYONE who would use religious beliefs to back up such a horrible act of vandalism can’t really be all that devout. Or brilliant for that matter. I’m glad that the Taliban are no longer in power. Moreover, I’m thrilled to hear that the new government of the country of Afghanistan is actively pursuing a restoration initiative with the help of other nations. The Afghan people are brave and industrious and I wish them a speedy recovery. For those of you who would like to read the article, please visit: Bring Back the Buddha.

Part Two
The black Leader of the Parking Lot Squirrels pushed one of the Grays off the roof a few weeks ago. At least I think it was the leader. They all look the same to me. I was coming home from doing laundry and my husband met me at the back door to let me in. The thing nearly fell into my laundry basket. It scurried straight down the side of the building and landed with an unnatural thud about 3 feet away from me. Internal organs, meet driveway. Then it hobbled away, back into the next lot. (And stay there!) Very disturbing.
The Parking Lot Squirrels also climb into cars and come into the building regularly to roam the halls. We’re supposed to be in a secure building, but what the Hell. They’re curious little devils. I’ve surprised one or two on occasion when coming out of the laundry room or my apartment. They usually aren’t overly concerned to see a human and just hop off in their jaunty little way. As I mentioned before, the Squirrels will climb in to any car that has an open window. I keep my car windows closed. Their method of entry into said vehicles is a real hoot to watch, since they all employ the same general technique. Sometimes I can watch more than one shimmy on it’s tummy over the roof of a car to slip, upside –down, through the open window. Then, the scavenging begins! It’s not unusual to see someone in one of the two lots just standing beside their car with the door open, waiting for one of the Parking Lot Squirrels to exit. (And, hey, thanks for detailing my car! Any time! I found some fries under the seat. Mind if I keep them to share with my posse? By all means! ) I sometimes have to create these dialogues in my head to make things not-so-weird for me. Sometimes it helps. Other times….

Tales from the Old Apartment: Parking Lot Squirrels

Part One:
In the beginning, God created Man and all manner of creatures that flew, slithered, swam, pushed each other off the roofs of three story walk-ups and scavenged in parked cars. Presented for your consideration…the Parking Lot Squirrel. Darwin would be delighted and quite possibly horrified. These creatures are unlike any other squirrel community that I’ve ever had the opportunity to observe.
They travel in gangs, at night…well no, not really, but they are very territorial and aggressive. Some days I watch them from my kitchen window and wonder if I should order some little leather jackets with "The Crips" embroidered on the back. These furry black menaces patrol (yes, patrol) the parking lot next door to us, and the one directly behind our building. There’s usually one on watch, making sure that nothing else invades the lots while two others criss-cross at intervals. When they detect an intruder, the squirrel on patrol calls the other squirrels (with that unearthly cawing sound that they have) and then they surround and attack the newcomer. Usually, it’s the fluffy gray squirrels from the property behind us, or the big fat pigeons that hang out on the building next door. I saw a couple of them jump a pigeon once. I made a tisking noise at them and two of them approached and stood under my kitchen window and looked at me with their beady little rodent eyes. I’m talking standing upright with their little arms at their sides, observing me. As I recall the incident now, I could almost swear that one of them was punching its fist into its open palm. I shut the window and stayed out of the kitchen for a few hours. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have a little schematic of the two lots scratched in the dirt somewhere and go over battle plans. Little freaks.