Part Two
The black Leader of the Parking Lot Squirrels pushed one of the Grays off the roof a few weeks ago. At least I think it was the leader. They all look the same to me. I was coming home from doing laundry and my husband met me at the back door to let me in. The thing nearly fell into my laundry basket. It scurried straight down the side of the building and landed with an unnatural thud about 3 feet away from me. Internal organs, meet driveway. Then it hobbled away, back into the next lot. (And stay there!) Very disturbing.
The Parking Lot Squirrels also climb into cars and come into the building regularly to roam the halls. We’re supposed to be in a secure building, but what the Hell. They’re curious little devils. I’ve surprised one or two on occasion when coming out of the laundry room or my apartment. They usually aren’t overly concerned to see a human and just hop off in their jaunty little way. As I mentioned before, the Squirrels will climb in to any car that has an open window. I keep my car windows closed. Their method of entry into said vehicles is a real hoot to watch, since they all employ the same general technique. Sometimes I can watch more than one shimmy on it’s tummy over the roof of a car to slip, upside –down, through the open window. Then, the scavenging begins! It’s not unusual to see someone in one of the two lots just standing beside their car with the door open, waiting for one of the Parking Lot Squirrels to exit. (And, hey, thanks for detailing my car! Any time! I found some fries under the seat. Mind if I keep them to share with my posse? By all means! ) I sometimes have to create these dialogues in my head to make things not-so-weird for me. Sometimes it helps. Other times….

Tales from the Old Apartment: Parking Lot Squirrels

Part One:
In the beginning, God created Man and all manner of creatures that flew, slithered, swam, pushed each other off the roofs of three story walk-ups and scavenged in parked cars. Presented for your consideration…the Parking Lot Squirrel. Darwin would be delighted and quite possibly horrified. These creatures are unlike any other squirrel community that I’ve ever had the opportunity to observe.
They travel in gangs, at night…well no, not really, but they are very territorial and aggressive. Some days I watch them from my kitchen window and wonder if I should order some little leather jackets with "The Crips" embroidered on the back. These furry black menaces patrol (yes, patrol) the parking lot next door to us, and the one directly behind our building. There’s usually one on watch, making sure that nothing else invades the lots while two others criss-cross at intervals. When they detect an intruder, the squirrel on patrol calls the other squirrels (with that unearthly cawing sound that they have) and then they surround and attack the newcomer. Usually, it’s the fluffy gray squirrels from the property behind us, or the big fat pigeons that hang out on the building next door. I saw a couple of them jump a pigeon once. I made a tisking noise at them and two of them approached and stood under my kitchen window and looked at me with their beady little rodent eyes. I’m talking standing upright with their little arms at their sides, observing me. As I recall the incident now, I could almost swear that one of them was punching its fist into its open palm. I shut the window and stayed out of the kitchen for a few hours. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have a little schematic of the two lots scratched in the dirt somewhere and go over battle plans. Little freaks.