Tales from the Old Apartment: Parking Lot Squirrels

Part One:
In the beginning, God created Man and all manner of creatures that flew, slithered, swam, pushed each other off the roofs of three story walk-ups and scavenged in parked cars. Presented for your consideration…the Parking Lot Squirrel. Darwin would be delighted and quite possibly horrified. These creatures are unlike any other squirrel community that I’ve ever had the opportunity to observe.
They travel in gangs, at night…well no, not really, but they are very territorial and aggressive. Some days I watch them from my kitchen window and wonder if I should order some little leather jackets with "The Crips" embroidered on the back. These furry black menaces patrol (yes, patrol) the parking lot next door to us, and the one directly behind our building. There’s usually one on watch, making sure that nothing else invades the lots while two others criss-cross at intervals. When they detect an intruder, the squirrel on patrol calls the other squirrels (with that unearthly cawing sound that they have) and then they surround and attack the newcomer. Usually, it’s the fluffy gray squirrels from the property behind us, or the big fat pigeons that hang out on the building next door. I saw a couple of them jump a pigeon once. I made a tisking noise at them and two of them approached and stood under my kitchen window and looked at me with their beady little rodent eyes. I’m talking standing upright with their little arms at their sides, observing me. As I recall the incident now, I could almost swear that one of them was punching its fist into its open palm. I shut the window and stayed out of the kitchen for a few hours. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have a little schematic of the two lots scratched in the dirt somewhere and go over battle plans. Little freaks.